The Logic Death Guide to Players
A Logic Death Production by Doug Lochery
There are two breeds of RPG gamer - Players and Gamemasters.
There are several subtypes of the Player breed that, when
faced with our glorious hobby, try to 'break it' in some way
or other. This is not always a conscious decision on the
part of the poor player. Below is a short and rather
irreverent look at the most typical of the destructive
breeds of players commonly encountered by hassled GMs
everywhere and, most importantly, some advice as to how to
deal with them.
The EverRookie
Quote: "What dice is that, then?" or "Rules are for DMs".
Description: The Everrookie is a clueless bod who can't
grasp the basic rules even after 10 years of playing.
Good points: Can't rules-lawyer the GM as he has no idea of
what the rules are or how they work.
Bad points: Constantly has to be told what to do whenever
game mechanics are used. In other words, all the time.
GM's strategy: To effectively deal with an Everrookie, buddy
him up with an experienced player so that the responsibility
of looking after him is diminished. This allows you to get
on with the business of running the game. Patience is
helpful when dealing with Everrookies, so make sure you pick
a buddy that has plenty of it.
[Comment from Johnn: another good point about playing with
Everrookies is that they often bring fresh perspectives to
the game. They aren't mentally bound by the rules like other
player types are, so they'll often come up with innovative
solutions or try things outside the scope of standard game
mechanics. Be sure to embrace this creative input! Though it
might sometimes be tricky to adjudicate, the flow of new
ideas is a boon to most campaigns.]
The Rules Lawyer
Quote: "But you can't do that. Paragraph 4 of page 17 of
Rulebook 2 clearly states that I can..." or "I don't care if
you're the GM! The rules say this..."
Description: Every GM's nightmare. The rules lawyer
constantly picks at the GM's rulings and ignores the GM's
judgement, making sure to protest loudly whenever it
contradicts something in print. Probably has memorized every
word of every rulebook or supplement in existence, even
banned or GM-only resources, and a few more besides. Can't
suspend his disbelief and is probably better suited to
tabletop wargaming.
Good points: If the GM can't remember a rule, this guy
probably can.
Bad points: The GM can't use any artistic licence with the
rules in front of him, or the game will degenerate into a
rules debate for about an hour. He doesn't recognize the GMs
word as law.
GM's strategy:
- Rules lawyers must be stopped quickly. The strategy with
these people is simple - stamp your authority on your game.
- Don't fall into the trap of automatically dismissing
everything a rules lawyer says (after all, there will be
instances where you are wrong) but don't let them dictate
the flow of the game.
- Make it clear that objections are allowed but arguments
after you have made your decision are not. Remind the lawyer
firmly that the GM's word IS law!
- Disallowing access to rulebooks during a game is a good
way to limit a rules lawyer's power.
[Two cents from Johnn: Rules Lawyers can be valuable
campaign assets, though it varies from lawyer to lawyer. If
you have a Rules Lawyer in your campaign, consider these
ideas for enabling them to improve your game:
- Rules Lawyer as early rules researcher, adopter, and
campaign balancer. For some game systems it's hard to keep
up with all the new books your players might show up with.
Ask your Rules Lawyer to keep on top of these products and
to assess their potential long-term campaign affects. If it
suits your group, declare that all new player-introduced
rules must be approved by the Rules Lawyer before being
brought into play.
- Rules Lawyer as consultant. When considering new rules,
house rules, and rules interpretations, ask your Rules
Lawyer about their potential implications:
- Will these rules work to PC or NPC advantage?
- What other rules do the new ones impact and how?
- How will the rules impact the game at higher levels?
- How could foes use the new rules to their advantage?
- Rules Lawyer as teacher. Ask your rules lawyer to help the
other players out. Advise them, if necessary, that the
players will always respect their opinions as long as they
are provided sincerely, without ego or attitude.
Also, consider increasing the amount of in-character (IC)
time spent in your sessions. Perhaps ask that any out of
character (OOC) discussion take place away from the game
table, even so far as going to 100% IC at the table. This
helps curbs Rules Lawyers' penchant for OOC discussions.]
The Powergamer
Quote: "This character is rubbish! I've only got three stats
on maximum, the rest are only three quarters of that! How do
you expect me to play with such a poor character?"
Description: Powergamers are those individuals who just have
to have the best of everything in order to enjoy the game.
They load their stats full of bonuses and min/max as much as
they can, trying to squeeze extra character improvement
points and skills out of every stage of the character
creation process. They will even try to get extra attacks
and bonuses during the game using flawed logic against the
GM. Combat rounds mean nothing to these people, and they
frequently try to fit twenty actions into a one minute
combat round in order to play the advantages.
Good points: Powergamers tend to have a good grasp on the
rules associated with combat and their own special
abilities.
Bad points: They are constantly trying to get away with
things in order to get advantages. Their sometimes
criminally flawed logic cannot be reasoned with. What a
normal player would consider to be a good character is
dismissed as completely unplayable by a Powergamer.
GM's strategy:
The Casual Player
Quote: "It's a laugh, innit?" or "It don't matter, it's only
a game."
Description: The casual player is the type of player that
never immerses himself in the game. He views the game as a
boredom reliever, and frequently misses sessions when
something else catches his fancy. He'll frequently do things
without thinking because "after all, it's only a game" and
is often a bigger danger to the party than he is to the
monsters due to his permanently lackadaisical attitude.
Good points: Character death isn't a problem; he'll just
shrug his shoulders and create a new one.
Bad points: He wrecks the tension in carefully planned plots
due to the fact that he finds it just a game.
GM's strategy:
The Munchkin
Quote: "I'll backstab the closest PC with my blade of
infinite poison, use my globe of annihilation on the others,
grab all the treasure for myself, and escape on my magic
carpet!"
Description: Munchkins are greed ridden egomaniacs who play
the game to win. They steal all the treasure, min/max like a
Powergamer, view the other PCs as rivals, and seek the most
powerful artifacts so they can rule EVERYTHING. Munchkins.
Enough said.
Good points: When the party faces a powerful foe, the
Munchkin usually has enough power, items, or magic to deal
with it.
Bad points: The party is not safe while the Munchkin is
around. Not from the danger posed by enemies, but from the
danger posed by the Munchkin himself.
GM's strategy: Don't even hesitate - kill the Munchkin's
character in the most airtight, gruesome, and public way
possible, rip up his character sheet, and eject him from
your game. Munchkins cannot be reasoned with and are not
worthy players.
[Comment from Johnn: I feel for Doug's frustration here.
I've also gamed with players whose destructive style were
campaign breakers. In addition to the option of ejection,
consider these ideas:
- Ask the player to run the bad guys. Maintain tight rules
control and fairness, but let the Munchkin plan and play the
villains, minions, and flunkies.
- Switch to an evil campaign. It's every person for
themselves, best Munchkin is the one left standing. Caution:
suitable for friendly and mature groups where hard feelings
won't be created. After everyone's blown some steam and all
the evil PCs are dead, bored, or retired, resume your old
campaign or start fresh.
- Allow in-character retribution. The PCs' gods, employers,
allies, friends, and families will take exception to a
Munchkin's detrimental effect on the band of heroes.
Actions should have consequences. Again, if hard feelings
will erupt amongst players avoid this option.]
Logic Death's Apprentice
Quote: "So, I've got the orb of soul draining in my hands?
I'll use it on the closest person to see what it does."
Description: The Apprentice is a chaotic individual whose
only goal is to cause as much chaos within the game as
possible. He will frequently do mad things "because he can"
and "because it's a laugh", without a thought for the party,
or even for his own safety. This person is as much a danger
to himself and his friends as he is to the enemy.
Good points: The Apprentice's antics ensure that there's
never a dull moment.
Bad points: It rapidly becomes impossible to run a serious
game when the apprentice is involved.
GM's strategy: Apprentices are truly destructive players.
Radical steps are needed to deal with this sort of player.
- Let the chaos run its course and dish out the appropriate
consequences for ALL the players. This may mean sacrificing
a scenario to stupidity, but the other players, after the
loss of something dear to them at the hands of said
stupidity, will apply pressure on the Apprentice to 'behave'
with a little more respect.
- Talk to the Apprentice about his behaviour if it continues
and be prepared to fudge dice rolls and craft events to
protect the other players from the Apprentice's unfair
stupidity.
- If after you have asked the Apprentice to stop being daft,
he continues, you must protect the fun of the group and
eject the player from the game. Remember: any person
blocking the fun of his fellow players is not worth playing
with.
The Hare
Quote: GM: "The king says to you..." Hare: "Yeah yeah,
what's he give us? Hurry up, we can clean out another
dungeon tonight if we hurry up and buy supplies!"
Description: Hares are those players who are constantly
chasing the next goal. These individuals rarely stop for
breath as they plunge through adventures, fixated on
completing scenarios. When hares meet, they argue about how
best to complete missions and start comparing their
conquests in a "mine's better than yours" type mentality.
Finishing difficult scenarios is what they live for,
roleplaying is just window dressing around mission facts.
Good points: The hare's enthusiasm usually prods the party
into action.
Bad points: Hares don't roleplay, they merely prompt the GM
for information. Any role-intensive scenarios will be lost
on the hare.
GM's strategy:
- Hares are generally attentive players but have a tendency
to look to the raw facts only. To accommodate a hare, you
need to construct your scenarios with a little more care,
ensuring that each session has a distinct goal that the
players need to achieve. Campaigns will become a little more
like a series of linked one-session games, but don't let
this worry you.
- Accentuate the human factor of each adventure and ensure
that most goals can ONLY be accomplished through proper
interaction with NPCs. Given a little time, hares will come
to value the interaction with NPCs and will start to see the
challenge in getting what they want out of other characters,
suiting their general outlook. This will start them down the
path to true roleplaying if the pace is managed properly.
The Tortoise
Quote: "My character does...errr....hang on...I
do....ummmmmm."
Description: Tortoises are normal players who suffer from
chronic slowness of thought. They may be the best
roleplayers in the world, but they always slow things down
by deliberating over an action for half an hour. When they
finally reach a decision, the game has moved on without
them.
Good points: When they reach a conclusion it's usually the
right one...
Bad points: ...but unfortunately it's usually a couple of
game sessions too late to save the party. It is impossible
to get Tortoises to choose a combat action in less than 20
minutes.
GM's strategy:
- Patience and structure are key when dealing with
Tortoises.
- Put a distinct order of doing things in place for combat
encounters and action taking. This will give the tortoise a
recognizable prompt to help him start to think about what he
has to say.
- To give him time to think, ensure that you ask the
Tortoise for his actions or opinions only after you have
asked all the other players. This approach will ensure the
Tortoise's participation without having to exclude him.
The Sherlock
Quote: "So, the Duke was a bit furtive when we asked about
the village, eh? Well, he must be the one doing the murders.
Therefore there must be a passage in this room allowing him
to leave and do his dirty deeds... A-HA! I'm right!"
Description: The Sherlock is a master of deductive logic.
After a couple of minutes of careful thought, he has usually
cracked the mystery wide open.
Good points: Deep, thought-provoking scenarios really get
him involved.
Bad points: That convoluted plot that you're so proud of? It
will be busted in the blink of an eye if you aren't careful.
GM's strategy: Sherlocks make very attentive players, and
there are a few things you can do to limit the damage their
keen intellect can cause to your lovingly crafted scenarios.
- Hide your notes at all times.
- Ensure that you craft multiple endings to your scenarios.
- Use intersecting sub-plots to keep things interesting, and
to obscure the main goal's clues.
- Do not use linear plots.
- Shy away from cliches whenever possible.
If all else fails and the Sherlock is still picking apart
your game, you can do one of two things. Consider reversing
the plot line so that everything is actually the opposite of
what it seems; but beware - this needs a careful hand to
pull off without the players noticing. Alternatively, split
the Sherlock away from the main party for a while and send
him on a wild goose chase or a sub-plot.
The Sheer-Luck
Quote: "You want me to roll a save versus death at -10 or I'm
toast? Okay. Hey! I Made it!!"
Description: The sheer-luck is a completely air-headed
player who stumbles through the game surviving everything
that's thrown at him. He opens secret panels by mistake,
finds command words for artifacts by chance, and seems
completely immune to death.
Good points: Finds secrets for the party.
Bad points: Finds secrets for the party - without effort!
GM's strategy:
You can't stop a sheer-luck, so use him to create the
"Scooby-Doo effect". The Scooby-Doo effect is a scene where
the characters will stumble across some clue or secret
purely by chance. This clue propels the plot forward,
involving the party with a situation that perhaps they would
never have gotten into in the first place. Sheer-lucks will
find this generates a bit of a friendly 'love-hate' thing
among the party for their luck ability, and all involved
will get a buzz out of the sometimes amazing set of
coincidences that leads them into danger. In this way sheer-
lucks can be turned from being scenario wreckers into
scenario drivers.
The Shakespearean
Quote: "Away, foul bandits. flee this place or I shall be
forced to spill thy blood with thine own blade!
Description: Shakespeareans love the role. They act out
EVERYTHING about their character, from the accent to the
actions, and even dress up in-character. They take the
roleplaying part of the game too far and absolutely abhor
any "rules" or "game mechanics" that get in the way of the
suspension of disbelief.
Good points: A fine example of how characters should be
portrayed within the game.
Bad points: Takes the roleplaying thing too far. Slows
simple combat encounters down with needless talk. "A-ha! A
jelly of acidic property! I shall slay you now, you oozing
fruit of an unholy union!"
GM's strategy:
- Dealing with the destructive nature of a Shakespearian is
difficult at best - you don't want them to stop roleplaying
but you DO want them to stop roleplaying! The most effective
tactic here is communication; talk to the player and explain
that you're not angry or annoyed at their excessive acting,
but you do sometimes need to hurry things up a bit.
- Agree upon a signal between yourselves (such as a code
word or a gesture) that tells the Shakespearean to cut back
the roleplaying when you need to move on, without the need
to tell the player off in front of the group. This saves
face for the Shakespearean and gives you back control, while
still allowing the Shakespearean to act out his fantasy when
appropriate.
The Geek
Quote: "Look, my ranger is wearing a jerkin just like his
model!" or "Hang on, I have my level improvement scores on
the back of my player's screen!"
Description: Geeks. They get everywhere. They throw
themselves bodily into the game, acting out the role where
appropriate, knowing all the rules, involving themselves in
games fully, never missing sessions, etc. The problem
is that they go about it all in the way that allows them to
lick as many windows as possible. They buy miniatures that
resemble their characters, research characters for months
before play, purchase player screens, buy all the
supplements that have info on their chosen class (and bring
them to the game), and download all related documents from
the net. The game is everything to the Geek.
Good points: Model RPG gamer on the surface...
Bad points: ...but takes every opportunity to display his
knowledge on his character and tell everyone how great it
is. Constantly says to players "You can't do that! Your
character wouldn't!"
GM's strategy:
- Geeks simply take the game far too seriously (yes folks,
it can be done). There is no in-game way of dealing with a
Geek, because a Geek lives and breathes the game. Tactics
here are similar to those for dealing with a Shakespearean,
but with the emphasis on understanding rather than
communication.
- The best way to get a Geek to stop being one is from time
to time to play other games and to do other pastimes with
your gaming group instead of RPGs.
- Don't exclude a Geek; involve him in the social circle
that is your gaming group and you'll find that he'll
probably lighten up a little.
Logic Death
Quote: "Don't roll a 1!"
Description: Logic Death has many forms. Whichever he takes,
you can be sure that the game he's involved in will go to
pot somehow. Very quickly. Multiple fatalities and plot
failure all take place around him.
Good points: You get a laugh as your game degenerates into
chaos.
Bad points: Your game degenerates into chaos, taking your
plots and favourite PCs with it.
GM's strategy: There is no strategy when faced with Logic
Death. Logic Death will always find a way...
