Battle of the Organs: The Gallbladder Strikes Back

I was working on a campaign faction last night called The Choir and my wife gave me a gruesome idea. But the idea didn’t mesh with what I had in mind for The Choir, so I used it to homebrew a horrific monster instead.

Choir Culture: Death, Music, and Bone Organs

The Choir ruled as undead lords over the 7 Cities, building bone graveyards in today’s Wasteland.

Music was important to their culture. To inject a bit of weird into this DCC RPG sword and sorcery setting, I’ve got the pinnacle of their art being huge, enchanted church organs whose pipes are made from the spines of giants, whales, 7 Cities folk, and others.

These organs were played by undead lords as powerful magical rituals that gave them access to the highest level spells, making The Choir civilization powerful indeed.

Organ Puns

So when I said to my wife that The Choir culture involves nasty internal faction conflicts fought with great organ battles, she thought I meant the other kind of organ. Livers and hearts. Battle of the Pancreas. And all that.

We had a great laugh, but it was also a fun idea.

What If… a type of monster opened up and its organs jumped out to fight too?

The worst is the creature’s gallbladder. Run if ever attacked by it!

The Gallbladder That Hates You

This gallbladder is shaped like a pear. It runs on bile-stained pseudopods made from thick, calcified veins.

It has long, strong, clutching arms that lash out to catch foes.

Then it shoves ensnared victims into its top orifice, which puckers shut with a tight peristaltic squeeze.

Acrid bile immediately sloshes around the swallowed victim, burning exposed skin and seeping through clothing and armor gaps. The hot gallbladder atmosphere tastes of old vinegar and rot.

Next comes a crushing peristaltic grind as the organ convulses, forcing the victim against large, rough gallstones. These calcified rocks pulverize flesh and bone, churning even the hardiest PC into zero-hero butter.

How Would You Use This?

Escape is possible. Cutting one’s way out is fastest, but it’s hard work getting through cords of tight muscle and hard veins. Another route could be relaxing the top orifice muscles and the victim climbing back out the way they entered.

Once fed, the gallbladder rushes back to the monster’s body, hops back inside, and finishes processing. It slowly extends veins to other organs. And it connects its orifice to the liver for hero-juice filtering and nutrient absorption.

Hopefully, this maestro of epic organ battles sleeps soundly, with an entire party going on inside.

When it gets hungry again, maybe it’ll show up at your table?

Cheers,
Johnn
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