How Big Is The Shark?

Years ago in my Riddleport campaign I said this:

“There’s a large shark circling in the harbour.”

The characters went down to the docks for a closer look. The shark attacked. And on its turn it launched into the air, sailed right over the party, and splashed down on the other side.

The shark jumped the characters.

At that point, Jason asked, “Johnn, just how big is this ‘large’ shark?”

“About a hundred feet long.”

There was a moment of silence, and then the whole table started laughing.

The callout I want to make here is that my description was pretty poor. It was one boring sentence, and a misleading one at that. Fortunately, it worked out, mostly because the creature forced a response.

However, I think the opposite kind of description is worse. One where there are five adjectives and three facts crammed into one breath that players must unpack. And at the end, it points at nothing for the characters to do.

So here are four things we can do immediately to improve our descriptions:

  • Make them simpler
  • Name one character
  • Give them a twist
  • Pass the hot potato

Simpler sentences are easier to understand. We talk about triple-redundancy clues a lot. But one root cause of party confusion is players not absorbing the details because of dense descriptions.

Next, we get one player primed to act by calling their character’s name.

Then we give them a twist, which creates instant engagement and gets the player taking action so the game keeps moving.

I think of three things when making description twists. These are especially handy when improvising:

  • A complication. A clear challenge.
  • A hidden detail revealed. Something discovered.
  • Something else happening. The situation thickens.

Ignitus, the amphora is slick with grime. If it slips, it could shatter into a thousand pieces.

Rhogan, one of the creatures looks familiar. Someone you’ve met recently.

Little Phingers, you spot a stranger at a corner table. He looks up suddenly and stares at you.

The character name in this approach has another boon. Without it, we’re just offering a fact. But saying the name first makes the description personal and relevant, and gets one player leaning forward, eager to jump in.

Who do you name? I pick whoever can best act on the twist.

Finally, after the twist, we toss the hot potato back fast to put the party in motion. Name the character again and ask this simple question:

[Character Name], what are you doing?

Try this next session. No prep needed. Next time you describe a room, NPC, door, object, whatever, say what you were going to say, then add these two sentences:

  1. Name + Twist
  2. Name + what are you doing?

These cover two of the four steps in a method called Lore Drops.

And I use Lore Drops for prepping and improvising effective descriptions that never jump the shark.

Lore Drops help you:

  • Ensure each player envisions the same situation as you to prevent confusion and the frustration that crappy descriptions cause.
  • Get players to absorb all the facts, clues, and details you need them to understand before they act.
  • Keep the pace going without stumbles, players asking you to repeat parts, or players delaying from analysis paralysis.

I just released my Lore Drops method in GM’s Log #13.

It covers everything you need: the four steps; examples for locations, investigations, and encounters; a build-your-own exercise for next session; and a checklist so you know when you’ve nailed it.

And once you can name the four parts from memory, you stop writing descriptions and start improvising them.

Get GM’s Log #13 inside CampaignCraft.

Membership is only $10/month, and it also gets you every previous GM’s Log, all my GM advice books, and both my CombatCraft and AdventureCraft programs.

Cheers,
Johnn
roleplayingtips.com
https://discord.gg/6MxTRAqQ76
Have more fun at every game!

+1 Get My Campaign Logger App Free to Make Prep & GMing Easier
For GMs of any system looking to run deep, detailed, and immersive games, Campaign Logger lets you take session notes at the speed of thought in your unique GMing style while improving your preparation experience so you can focus on the parts of the game you enjoy the most.
Get your free Campaign Logger account here.

+2 Level-Up Your GMing With My Books

+3 Get the Demonplague (with 62 5-Star Ratings so far)
A complete level 1-20 campaign D&D 5E adventure path that offers intense roleplay, sandbox and hexcrawl play, cunning combats, and fiendish monsters.
Click here to see more details and to order.

+4 Get More GM Loot
Visit the Roleplaying Tips DriveThruRPG store, or browse books and courses to level up your GMing at the RoleplayingTips.com store.

Join a private community with Johnn